Falling in love is an amazing thing. But keep in mind that this is only the beginning. Staying in love and keeping a man interested is a different battle entirely. It took no special skill or discipline on your part to get your guy to fall in love with you. Yet, the irony is that to keep the relationship alive, a certain amount of controlled behavior and emotional intelligence will need to be applied at all times.
There is so much advice out there on how to keep a man interested. Some are good and some are rubbish. I have drawn up a list of do's and don'ts from my many years of actual experience. The list should help teach you the easiest ways to keep your man keen for the long haul.
The Do's
1. Do love yourself first
There's a specific point when a new relationship goes from mutual adoration and effort to the woman feeling unappreciated and taken for granted. This usually happens when the woman becomes so wrapped up in the relationship that she starts putting herself last. Usually, her boyfriend's happiness and needs come before her own.
This is a dangerous dynamic for a relationship to have. It will only lead to disharmony and resentment. Instead, make sure your man knows that you love and value yourself too. Happiness radiates out from within, and your happiness will make you more attractive to him.
2. Do enjoy his favorite things with him
Whether it's fitness or action movies, it's important that you can appreciate and enjoy doing the things your partner likes with him. This will give you something to bond over, and he'll be able to get more pleasure out of enjoying his hobbies with you.
When he wants to spend time at the gym or at a fitness retreat, he'll want to go with you. If a new shoot 'em up movie comes out, he'll share his excitement about it with you.
Discover things you can both love together. If you're unable to understand or join in on the things he likes to do, he'll learn to leave you out when he wants to do them.
3. Do always look and feel good
Okay, granted, it's unrealistic to look and feel good all the time, but you can try to keep it as your default setting. Obviously you always look nice when going to work or hanging out with friends but try not to let yourself completely go when at home.
Remember that you'll spend most of your time together inside the house, so keep your loungewear cute. Have chic little headbands or styles that you do with your hair at home that look decent so you don't end up walking around with a bedhead all day.
A woman's appeal to a man shines from the inside out. Feeling good will come from maintaining good energy and positive thoughts. You'll find that your man will always want to be around you because it feels good to him, too.
4. Do be both interested and interesting
One of the most obvious tips for how to keep a man interested is to be what you want to attract. If your conversations are always predictable and boring, you'll notice that your boyfriend will start responding to you with mindless "ums" and "yeahs".
Staying interesting means that you have to keep doing new things or learning about things that he'll find interesting.
Also, when he talks to you about the new things he's doing or learning, you should be interested as well. Give him your full attention when he's speaking to you. He'll love talking to you without even knowing why.
5. Do keep things light and easy
I would say from my 22 years of relationship experience that one of the things that have kept my husband's interest in me is my fun and easygoing attitude. Yes, I can be feisty when I'm annoyed or stressed out, and at those times he mostly looks at me with an amused expression (I like to think he finds my feistiness exciting!).
Life can get really hard sometimes; we all already know this. Why would you want your life at home to be hard, too? I like to have fun and enjoy all the little pleasures life has to offer. That means my husband has fun when he's with me, and we share our pleasures together. Don't get me wrong - things are not always butterflies and hearts.
By keeping things easy, I mean that I try not to hag or harass him about things that, ultimately, aren't that important. Whether his underwear always makes it into the laundry basket or not isn't worth fighting and ruining our evening over. If the vibes at home or around you are light and easy, his interest will always be available to you when you want it.
The Don'ts
1. Don't be too clingy
Ugh, can you imagine having a guy constantly following you around like a lovesick puppy, demanding your attention and affection? Annoying, right? Not to mention, it is a complete turnoff.
If you want one simple tip on how to keep a guy interested, it's to give him space. Let him miss you. Allow him to want your attention. Stay busy with your friends and hobbies (or even your social media), and you'll always have his interest.
2. Don't make getting along with friends and family difficult
I'm not sure if some girls are trying to seem special or if they want to keep their boyfriends all to themselves, but when they're around his friends or family, they can sometimes begin having a strange attitude. Whatever the reason, don't do this.
Your guy's friends and family were in his life before you and will be there after you (especially if you're hard to get along with). So the onus is on you to make a good impression on them. If you're able to do a good job with this, you'll even create an alias that will speak well of you, when things aren't going so great in your relationship.
3. Don't expect him to fulfill you, heal you, or be your sole source of happiness.
This is a mistake that I've seen so many women make over the years. Yes, it's in a female's nature to build her world around her beloved, but you have to be very careful about this.
We expect all of the loving affection we were created to give them to be shown to us. We want to be filled up with love. We want the love given to us to heal every bad thing that happened to us in our past or that day. When we're feeling low, we expect our man to know exactly what to say/do to make us feel better, and if we're bored we expect them to entertain us.
This is simply too much to demand from someone else who has their own life and issues to deal with. I would say that the most important tip on how to keep a man is this: do all of these things for yourself first. This is the only way your relationship will stay healthy and strong. Keeping your man's interest will not be a problem then, because you'll never lose it.
Summary
We all want to keep our relationships healthy and fulfilling, but remember that it's not only the responsibility of the guys to do so. Stay cheerful and cute, and your man will continue to cherish you.
Give him space while enjoying yours. Keep a good attitude towards the difficulties from the outside world, and make life within your relationship as easy and pleasant as realistically possible. When your relationship becomes his happy place, keeping his interest will be effortless.