Are you the kind of person who occasionally asks him or herself "why am I so jealous?" Worry not, it is natural to occasionally be jealous in a relationship. Sometimes getting a little jealous in a relationship is healthy but too much of it might destroy your relationship. Most people get jealous because they are insecure and have low self-esteem. Men often get jealous because they think they are getting cheated on while women are more prone to jealousy when they want to protect their feelings from being hurt. When jealousy creeps into your relationship, you fear being left alone, unwanted and unloved by your partner. Therefore, to avoid being jealous, here are 10 tips that will help you.
Take These Tips to Not Be Jealous
Jealousy drains your energy and clouds your judgment. Instead of letting jealousy get the better of you, follow the below suggestions to help you fight jealous feelings and thoughts.
1. Observe your jealous thoughts and feelings
Jealous thoughts and feelings are just insecurities that you can get rid of. When you are faced with jealousy, take a moment, breathe slowly, and look closely at your jealousy thoughts and feelings. Are they adding value to your life? If not, it's better to challenge them with a positive thought or feeling. For instance, when your friend's partner bought her the latest car model before you, do not get mad at your partner, but compliment your friend. Jealousy thoughts and feelings will take you away from reality, therefore, admit that you're jealous and the thought and feeling will go away.
2. Try to banish your insecurity
Insecurity plays a significant role in being jealous. Personal vulnerabilities or other people's insecurities can be part of the jealousy you feel. When you are faced with personal insecurity such as when your friend gets admitted to your dream university, and you are not, take it in a positive way. Appreciate that the university you got admitted to is also a great one. Another example is when you compare your life with that of a friend's. What you need to understand is that every individual is unique. Even if someone is successful today, it could be your turn tomorrow. Comparisons might depress you, so take the initiative to banish your security
3. Appreciate yourself
Appreciating yourself is one method of how to get over jealousy. People get jealous because they feel they are not the perfect match their partner wanted. Due to this, they are afraid their partner will leave them for someone else. You will need to get rid of the insecurity issues and low self-esteem and appreciate yourself more. You might want to list your strengths or things that you are grateful for. These can vary from how you are a good listener, to the impressive cooking skills that your lover appreciates about you. Focusing and acknowledging personal strengths will help you reduce that jealous feeling.
4. Don't be emotional
Jealousy is an emotion used to defend your interest. It might turn you into a negative person, name-calling or demeaning others to make them feel bad. For instance, when you see your boyfriend talking to another girl at a party, jealousy gets the better part of you. As a result, you might start throwing negative comments, being rude or nasty towards the girl, or throwing tantrums as a way of protecting your interest. However, this is not the best approach to address the issue. Before you approach them, think of what you are going to say or do and then calm down. After you feel better, approach them nicely, saying "Hi" and trying to be as charming as possible. Such a reaction demonstrates healthy self-esteem.
5. Meditate daily
Meditation is a technique which can encourage you to learn how to not be jealous. Since jealousy can cloud your judgment, use meditation to help you relax and focus. Mediate in a quiet, serene environment each morning for at least 15-20 minutes, and focus on the moment and what lies ahead. During this time, practice breathing techniques. Take a few deep breaths in and out. Inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth while taking note of how your body feels.
6. Calm down and stay connected
When you are in love, you become vulnerable in your relationship. It is not easy to open up to your partner especially if your past relationships did not work. You might not want your current relationship to end up like the rest, so you definitely do not want jealousy to be part of the puzzle. Therefore, trust yourself and your partner and keep calm. You cannot control the future, but you can control the present. Consequently, choose to love your partner and accept the risk associated with it without jealousy.
7. Have fun daily to distract you from jealousy
Distractions are the best preventive measure on how to not be jealous. Find activities that you like doing to distract you from becoming jealous. When you are having fun and enjoying yourself, jealous thoughts or feelings won't creep into your mind. Schedule activities into your to-do list, like going to the mall, hiking, swimming, watching movies or exploring new adventures.
8. Stop holding onto jealousy
Jealousy clouds your mind and can drain you emotionally. The moment you realize you are jealous, it is better to express your feelings to your partner, friend or someone close. Tell them how you feel to help you gain peace of mind by getting rid of the negative energy. You can also let go jealousy by indulging in activities that will distract you from feeling and having jealous thoughts.
9. Trust
Learn to trust yourself and your partner to be happy in your relationship. Trust yourself that your commitment and love will be a pillar that will hold your relationship together and prevent it from crumbling. Trusting your partner shows that you are ready to face any unknown risks and the most difficult situations. Once you learn how to trust, letting jealousy go is easy.
10. Learn to compliment genuinely
The golden rule on how to not be jealous is to compliment genuinely. Is your friend doing better than you? Has your colleague gotten a pay rise? Is your sister getting married before you? Be happy for them and genuinely compliment their achievement. This expresses respect and high self-esteem.
The Final Word
In conclusion, jealousy is a poisonous root, and when it happens, it disturbs your life. It is advisable to seek a counselor's help if you have tried all the above tips, but they seem not to work as you want them too. But fear not, the above tips can help you solve your jealousy issue if you are prepared to work on them.