Romance makes us see the world through rose-tinted glasses. When you're in a new relationship, it's especially easy that you want to spend a lot of time with your beloved one. It's only natural that you want to be with your boyfriend all the time. After all, he's the love of your life as well as your best friend.
While there's nothing wrong with relying and depending on each other, there is a limit to dependency. At a certain point, being too dependent on your boyfriend is not healthy for your mental health. You must realize the cold hard truth- this relationship might not last forever. And if you depend your happiness on your boyfriend, what will happen to you when he's gone? Here are 10 signs you're getting too dependent on him and need to step back.
1. You spend all your time with him
Going on dates with your boyfriend is normal. But being glued to his side all the time? Not so much. You might even go weeks without seeing other people than him. Of course, it's normal that you want to spend time with the person you love, especially when the relationship is still new. But spending every waking moment with only one person is not healthy.
2. You feel lost without him
Another sign of being too dependent on your boyfriend is that you feel at a loss when you're not with him. Do you find yourself desperate for his love and attention when he's at work or doing other activities? Do you feel like nothing can cheer you up except him? This shows that you're relying too much on him to make you happy.
3. You constantly seek his validation
When you're too dependent on your partner in a relationship, a red flag that often shows up is low self-worth. You might not realize this, but do you feel down when your boyfriend doesn't approve of something? You might even constantly seek his validation and approval to feel comfortable in your own skin. This is dangerous. Feeling this way might leave you vulnerable to abusive behaviors from your partner.
4. There's no "me", but only "us"
Another sign to look out for is when you don't do anything alone anymore. Whether it's a family reunion or a casual brunch with your besties, you always invite him along. Is that because you feel incomplete without him there? If so, then you need to take a step back. It's not healthy to do everything together in a relationship. Remember, everyone needs their own personal time and space.
5. He's getting too dependent on you
Have you ever thought that your boyfriend is too dependent on you? If you notice that your boyfriend has been too clingy and dependent on you, take a good look at yourself. Chances are your habits have been rubbing off on him. This is called codependency. It happens when both partners are too heavily dependent on each other.
6. His interests become your interests
While it can be awesome to explore new hobbies together and share your passions, it's not healthy when you force yourself to like what he likes all the time. Remember, you don't have to give up your own hobbies and passions just so you can spend more time with him when he's pursuing his interests. There's no need to ditch your book club just to attend his soccer practice every evening.
7. Your life revolves around your relationship
When you're in love, it's easy to shift all your focus onto your relationship without realizing it. But that doesn't mean it's healthy. If you start paying less attention to your social life, family, and even yourself just so you can focus on your relationship, then you're being too dependent on your boyfriend. Take a step back and avoid developing an obsession with your boyfriend. It's not only unhealthy but also creepy to some degree.
8. Separation results in anxiety
When you're too dependent on your partner, you will never want to lose him. Even the thought of spending time apart from him makes you anxious. If this is the case every time you have to part ways with him, then you need to take a step back. That means you've made him and your relationship your only source of happiness. Not only is that unhealthy, but it's also dangerous for your own mental health.
9. You text him all day long
No matter what time it is and whether he's at school or work, you will still send him a barrage of texts. Texting him has become second nature to you. It's the first thing you do when you wake up and the last thing you do before dozing off to dreamland. You might even get anxious or panicked when he doesn't reply to your texts immediately. This is a sign you're becoming too reliant on him. Take a step back and relax. Everyone needs alone time, including you and your boyfriend.
10. You become too controlling
The thought of losing him haunts you, so you double the effort to make him stay. You become willing to do anything to keep your relationship intact, even if it means controlling his every move. For example, you might get mad if he hangs out with his friends without you. In a relationship, it's never healthy when one party becomes too controlling of the other. This is a sign you're too dependent on your boyfriend. Such behavior doesn't only harm you, but it will also harm him and your relationship.
Takeaway Message
Have you noticed any of these above mentioned signs in your relationship? If so, then it's a good idea to take a step back and reflect on your situation. Being too dependent on someone will only spell trouble for the future. You shouldn't put all your eggs in one basket. The same goes for your happiness. Don't connect it with just one person. Instead, find a balance between being independent and dependent. It won't be easy once you've overly attached yourself to your boyfriend, but finding that balance will result in a happy and relationship.