You broke up with somebody and you're still sad? Well, it's not uncommon. Actually, I hear that "I broke up with my boyfriend and I feel sad" statement quite a lot. Parting ways is a painful thing to experience, even if it was you who broke up. You probably had your reasons, and know that it's the right thing to do. It's crucial that you know why you feel like that, and I am here to help you understand your emotions by giving you four possible explanations and four useful pieces of advice when it comes to a sad breakup that you initiated and feeling bad afterward. Trust me, you will feel a lot better, so keep reading.
Why Am I Sad When I Broke Up With Him?
Human beings are complicated, and sometimes we don't understand why we feel the way we do. You probably thought that, if you break up, everything will be long gone behind you, but it doesn't happen overnight, especially if you two were together for a long time.
1. You are the one who did wrong, so you feel guilty
Sometimes, it's easier even to leave everything behind than admitting that something is your fault. This is one of the main reasons why you might still be sad. If you feel that something is just not right or if you're constantly wracking your brain trying to grasp who's guilty and who's not, it's possible that, deep down, you know that you have made a mistake. Don't think about it. If you truly love someone, the thing that matters the most is solving a problem, not thriving over someone being better than someone else.
2. You miss your happy past
Wonderful memories probably cross your mind quite often, and they seem so much brighter. Maybe he is not as bad as he seems? Maybe it would've worked if you had been just a little more patient? This is a mere illusion. If you had a very good reason for breaking up, no memories should be more important than that. Also, the past doesn't actually exist. It's even scientifically proven that the brain tends to mix your memories up a bit every time we recall them. When happy memories overwhelm you, try to think about the bad ones.
3. You can't bear the pain of loss
Even losing your favorite bracelet can be painful. What I'm trying to say is that it's normal that you don't want to lose a partner. Now you are single again, and it's a bit scary to be on your own again after a relationship ends. Still, think about being single as an opportunity for meeting a better partner. Now you are able to finally find someone who will understand you and be there for you. Losing even a bad guy can make you feel sad. I guess people just don't like any kind of loss.
4. You're not sure if that was the right thing to do, and you still have hope that he will change
What if your decision was too harsh? Look, hope is a beautiful thing, it keeps us alive, but sometimes it can obscure our vision. Remember, people don't change. They are who they are, and although change is possible, it doesn't happen just like that. If you gave him dozens of chances and he still did the same thing, you cannot expect anything different in the future. Convincing yourself that he won't screw you over the next time is what can make you feel sad.
What to Do in These Kinds of Situations? (4 Suggestions)
Whatever the reason for your breakup is, you can fix things, in one way or another. Now when you know why you might feel sad, you can change it.
1. Go back together if you still love each other
Be brave and apologize if you have made a mistake. Don't lose a good guy only because of your ego and pride. It's not worth it at all. Call him, and be open and honest. If you two love each other for real, you will be back together in no time.
2. Delete all related things from your life if there is no chance
If all your efforts to save your relationships have been in vain, it's time to put everything that reminds you of him in a box and store it somewhere, or even throw it away completely. If there is something around you that constantly makes you think about your ex, you will heal much slower.
3. Go to travel to see the world and broaden your views
It's time for you to gain more life experience. Now that you're single, you can travel all over the world and meet new people. Not only will that help you think about your ex less, but it will also help you grow as a person. You can travel alone, or with your friends. Maybe you should even go somewhere on your own, so you can reflect on your past relationship.
4. Find a new hobby or try to do your job better
It will help you focus on something else rather than thinking about a failed relationship. Whatever the reason for the breakup was, it doesn't matter anyway. If you know that it was the right thing to do, turn your grief into something more productive.
Summary
Asking yourself "why am I sad when I broke up with him?" will only hurt you more, so don't do that. Stop thinking about what you should or shouldn't have done. If you think that it's actually your fault, call him and tell him that. If the breakup was inevitable, then being sad is completely futile. Turn that sadness into something much better, and don't let the past drag you down. Now, you will finally be able to meet new people and find a suitable partner.