Everyone hopes to find the love of their life and have their happily ever after. Sadly, life doesn't always work out that way. Unfortunately, the truth is that many relationships aren't able to stand the test of time. When a couple first gets together, things are always wonderful and it feels like the romance will never end, but the reality is that passion cools after a while, and taking each other for granted becomes the norm. The intensity of the love you shared at the beginning has changed so much that you're now asking yourself "is my relationship over?"
Below is a list of signs that your relationship might have reached the end of its road. If you've seen a few of these signs, you are probably right in thinking that your relationship will be over if you're not able to do something about it.
1. Picking fights
You used to be able to communicate in healthy ways, but now one or both of you have run out of patience. The little things you do seem to irritate him and he makes it clear that some of your habits annoy him. You might also find that things that didn't bother you before are now really getting on your nerves. You have both gone from crazy in love to simply driving each other crazy! This is not a good sign that your relationship will last much longer.
2. Your sex life has dried up
Do you remember what it was like in those early days of your relationship? You were all over each other and the sex was so intense. Now, you barely touch each other, and let's not even talk about actual sex. The few times that you do happen to have sex, it's usually...lackluster, to put it mildly. So when people ask "how do you know when a relationship is over?" It's fair to say "when the sex life is over." If neither of you is willing to do what it takes to spark the heat back into the bedroom, then the demise of the relationship is near.
3. The trust is gone
If your relationship has serious trust issues then it could well be doomed. When most people think about trust in a relationship, they usually only think about fidelity. But trusting your life partner means so much more than just whether they cheat or not. A healthy relationship is one where both individuals can trust that the other person will stick to the (sometimes silent) agreement on how you'll treat each other and the way you'll live your lives. For example, you're both working and saving money towards a vacation, but you find out that he has not been saving as much as you have because he's secretly saving for a new phone for himself. You can't trust your guy to follow through with an agreement you made and when it comes to money, he's not always honest. Issues like this will destroy trust and the relationship may not be able to recover.
4. You avoid going home
For the couples who live together, going home used to be the best part of the day. You used to rush through work time and break times so that you can get back to your soul mate. These days you're no longer in any kind of rush to get home. You linger at the office, or you offer to do extra work. Because what's the point right? It's highly likely that by this stage of your relationship there probably won't be anyone home anyway. It's easy to doubt yourself and second guess your feelings.
One day you're thinking "is my relationship over?" And the next you're thinking "I'm just being oversensitive." Overthinking can be dangerous. If you think about anything for too long, you'll be able to find problems and create insecurities that are not actually there. However, your instinct is usually not wrong. If your gut is telling you that something is off, you are probably right. You'll have to admit that not wanting to go home is a sign that your relationship is heading for a break-up if you don't do anything about it!
5. You're bored or lonely even when you're together
It's fair to say that being lonely while you're with your partner is how to know your relationship is over. In a healthy relationship, even if your partner is engrossed in their own hobby, it won't necessarily make you feel lonely. It's only when you can sense that he has no interest in you at all that you'll experience loneliness. Being bored on a Sunday afternoon is completely normal, but having a general sense of boredom in your relationship and with your partner is not a good sign for your future together.
6. You now prefer alone time to quality time
You have begun to notice that you actually enjoy being alone. Because being alone these days means no bickering, no criticisms, and no feelings like you've done something wrong. The thought of spending quality time with your partner used to get you so excited, but now you don't see the point of it and you even find it's strange when other people say that this is important. If this is the way you both feel, then there is definitely a serious problem with your relationship that will need to be addressed.
7. You're never the first to know
He used to be your best friend. You both told each other everything, but recently you've noticed that you're the last to know about the things going on with him. Maybe you overheard him discussing the work bonding trip with someone on the phone and when you ask him about it, he gives you the line, "Oh, I thought I told you." He knows he didn't tell you, because he prefers to speak with his friends/brother/colleagues these days. You now have to admit that you're not as close as you used to be. This might be a sign that he's already moving on with his life without you.
8. You have no future plans and you don't have the same goals
This is a big one. If making plans for the future together seems inappropriate, then it's pretty clear what's going on here. Somewhere, in both of your subconscious, you know that your relationship was always going to be temporary. When you discuss your goals for the future, are they even similar? Does he want to pursue his goal of being an archaeologist and explore the world while your dream is to have a house in the countryside and live off of the land? It's possible that he's not your Mr. Right, only your Mr. Right Now. You might have to face the truth that you were not meant to be together forever.
9. They don't kiss you like they used to
Even if it's just a hello peck or a goodbye kiss, it doesn't feel the way it used to. You remember the days when you both hated to part, so your goodbye kisses would be tender and slow - there might even be 2 or 3 kisses! Now, these greeting and goodbye kisses are just out of habit and are cold, fast, and dry autopilot-pecks. You might have no idea why this is happening and will leave you wondering "Is my relationship over?" sadly it's not your imagination. It's a definite sign that something has changed and that your relationship might not last much longer.
10. Things just don't feel "right"
Sometimes things just change. Change is an inevitable part of life and isn't necessarily a bad thing. At the same time, unfortunately, this means that people can change and outgrow their partner and the relationship as it currently is.
Certified Professional Dating and Relationship Transformation Expert, Lisa Concepcion, says "That great person you met two years ago was great based on who you were then. You may not be growing at the same pace. Perhaps they are in a comfort zone. They're a nice person and you have love for them but there are thoughts of "where is this going?" or, "do I really want this?" When those questions start popping up, it's your inner being nudging you elsewhere."
If you're experiencing this in your relationship and you still hold on to it without being able to evolve with it, that's when all the problems listed above and more will start to pop up.
Summary
Hopefully, these signs might not mean that you're certainly heading for a breakup. Discuss your concerns with your partner to find the root cause of the change in your relationship and really try to address them. If nothing changes and things just don't get any better, then you might have to accept that it's time to move on.