When a baby is born, it is an extraordinary moment for the whole family. Love comes naturally when you spend time with the little one. What makes the bond special is the love, care and understanding on your part as a parent and a family member. Little ones cannot talk but can only convey through gestures and sounds. It is often difficult to understand them, especially newborn babies. It is all right. If you pay attention, you will be able to understand them. This is how you create a secure attachment with babies.
Attachment – an Important Part of Parenting
When you see your baby smile and run towards you, it's such a special feeling that you can't describe it in words. It is okay to be a little anxious about doing your job right. But it's essential to have an attachment with your child and feel the beauty of little moments. It is all about that balance between love, care, and vigilance as a parent.
What is a secure attachment?
The main point is to understand what secure attachment is. Why is it so important? What does it mean to you? What does it mean to your baby? Research in science and philosophy shows secure attachment in babies result from the warmth and love given by a parent or a parent-like figure.
Secure attachment refers to the bond forged emotionally between the baby and a person who takes care of the baby. Baby attachment can be between the parents, grandparents, family, or a nanny, if that person understands and responds to the baby's needs.
Why is it so important?
Secure attachment is vital:
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To let the baby feel secure emotionally
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To make them confident
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To develop their character and personality
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To allow them to share their feelings
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To help them get through disappointment or loss
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To allow them engage intimately
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To help them socialize with others
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To develop a trusting and secure relationship with your babies
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To achieve academic achievements in life
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To have the ability to form strong relationships as an adult
Important to you
Giving birth, raising a baby and attaching to them emotionally is like falling in love. Making them happy makes you happy. It develops peace of mind and is crucial to create a secure attachment to babies.
Important to baby
It is important for a baby to have someone around and take care of them. Since they cannot speak, someone who understands gives them a strong sense of security. It helps to build a strong bond with one person and let them grow better physically and emotionally.
Ways to Form a Secure Attachment
There are several ways to form a secure attachment with your kid if you are willing to do so. By distancing yourself from your child and giving preference to other things such as your work or your own activities, it might become challenging to create a secure attachment to babies. Below are ways to form a strong bond between you and your baby:
1. Interact with your babies
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Appropriate interaction with your babies requires you to be attentive to their needs. Try to read what they want to say. What makes them cry or become uncomfortable? This is not easy and you will not always be right. But eventually, you will begin to understand them.
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Babies change their routines and needs during the interaction process. It is necessary to look out for them and keep in synchronization with them. For example, tickling too much will tire them out and deflate their interest rather than enjoying sweet little tickling.
2. Understand baby language
Every baby has a unique way of communicating with his/her parents or caretakers. For example, crying loudly, crying softly, making a face, fisting the hands, arching the back, kicking hands and feet, pouting of lips, rubbing the eyes or other movements. Babies communicate with these gestures. They may all seem the same in the beginning, but after a while, you will note a pattern behind each sound and movement that may communicate different meanings.
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They may respond to your voice by moving or make sounds if they want to be held.
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They may cry and pout their lips if they are hungry.
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They may move about and cry if they want their diapers changed.
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Tender touch and playing makes them happy.
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Note if they like rocking back and forth or enjoy going outside.
3. Take care of yourself
You can take better care of your child if you are healthy and take care of yourself. This way, you will start noticing signs of secure attachment in babies, and they will have a happy childhood.
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Good sleep is a necessity. You can become irritable and cranky if you do not sleep well. Your babies may become introverts and fearful of you. It is better to take a nap when your baby sleeps or sleep an extra hour in the morning to feel fresh.
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Seek help from your husband, family, and friends to help you better understand how to take care of babies from experienced people. They can also divide your responsibilities, giving you a break and time to refresh.
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Taking some time off is helpful since taking care of a baby is very demanding. For working women, they can take some time off their work to get back in shape. Engage in activities that will relax you and help you to take better care of your child.
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Physical and mental health care is crucial. If you are fit, it is best for both you and your child. It is time to get rid of habits like smoking, drinking, computer addiction, overworking, etc. For any sort of stress, depression, anxiety, addiction, and physiological illness, it is best to see a doctor and treat it early on.
To sum up, taking care of yourself is taking care of your child.
4. Involve the dads
It is best to involve dads in the process. Let them bottle-feed the child, read stories, sing the songs, laugh, talk, and play with the child. Stay at home dads can do more than that. They change diapers, carry them, comfort them and take them outside for fun. There is no shame in making funny noises to please your baby. Letting the children hear dad's voice and feel his face make them feel safe.
5. Regular show of affection
Frequently touching, cradling and kissing your baby are signs of your affection for your baby. They love to be touched and soothed. They show their response by giggling, gripping and cuddling. That is how you can create a strong and secure attachment between you and your baby.
6. Positive outlook
Normally the mornings are the most hectic. Most moms are not able to get up early due to the night spent taking care of the baby. You are tired at times. You also have to make breakfast and do other things at the same time. You feel that you will go crazy. Try to calm yourself at that time and:
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Take a deep breath and calm down, even if it is the last thing you want to do.
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Taking a walk outside freshens you up and it is a good change for your baby.
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Teaming up with other people like your spouse, friends, and family also helps to cope with stressful situations.
Doing all these things helps your children to grow an attachment with you. It makes them think that they are not a burden and you are happy to do their work. Try to smile and talk with your baby. It will give you a positive outlook and genuine happiness to see your child happy.
7. Perfection is not required
Raising a baby is one hell of a demanding job. You can never be too careful and attentive 24/7 and you do not really need to be. To create attachment, you do not need to be a perfect parent. As long as you pay attention and make amendments to the things you have missed, you can still do a great job at being a parent.
8. Lifelong process
Attachment theory generally says that secure attachment with babies is usually formed in the first six months to a year, but it is never too late to form secure attachment in later years. If you are worried that it is too late, then know that it is a lifelong process. Working women who do not want to leave their jobs can occasionally take time out of their busy schedules to be with their children. Do not worry about the gap between you and your child. Provide the right environment and teachings. Then you can get over all the differences and still create a secure attachment.
9. Mutual relationship
The relationship between you and your baby must be reciprocal and not the one dominated by your own personal needs and preferences. Go along with your baby in his or her games. Respond when your baby demands and fulfill their needs and wishes. Give them a little privacy and freedom. It gives them a sense of independence and is suitable for their growth as well as your own relief.
Love, Care and Understanding
This article includes several tips for parents to form a secure attachment with their child. Only love cannot form it. It requires care, understanding and sensitivity from the caretaker. One is not always able to understand the baby and it is not necessary to do so. It is okay to make a few mistakes. Interaction is a two-way process and your attention makes them trust you. It is best to take care of yourself, involve the people around you, and engage them in exciting activities. Learn to understand their language, show physical affection and give emotional support. This creates a strong bond between you and your baby.