While some people enjoy a healthy and fulfilling romantic relationship with little or no sex, some feel sex is crucial. Each relationship is different. What works for one couple may not work for the other. Sexual intimacy is essential for couples or partners who are in a long-term relationship. However, some people may not want to have sex, and this can be as a result of various reasons, including low libido and chronic pain.
But remember, sex can increase love between partners and help them bond. It can also boost one's confidence as well as relieve stress. Sex also has other medical benefits; for instance, in a 2004 psychology report by Francis X, Carl J, and Brennan, concluded that people who had a regular sex life improved their immune system.
How to Solve a Sexless Marriage
It's assumed, people in marriage enjoy frequent and happy sex life than their single counterparts. Sometimes that may not always be the case. Some people stay in a relationship without sex, not because they choose to, but because of health complications or circumstances. Here are some of the possible causes of a sexless relationship and the possible remedies.
1. The hidden causes of no sex in a relationship
- Erection problems
Erectile dysfunction is commonly associated with medical problems such as high blood pressure, anxiety, and diabetes. Sometimes it can occur as a result of the side effects of some drugs. In other cases, it can be linked to physical injuries to blood nerves and a lack of sufficient blood supply to a person's reproductive organ. Additional causes of erectile dysfunction include depression, misuse of drugs, too much alcohol, and some surgical procedures like prostate cancer.
- Depression or any other health issues
Depression can have devastating impacts on a person's life, both mental and physical. Some of the characteristics of a depressed partner include mood fluctuations, lack of energy, withdrawal from social activities, and lack of interest or pleasure. Depression can occur as a result of past sexual experiences. For instance, if the person wassexually abused, the trauma can have adverse effects and may last forever.
- Unhealthy lifestyle
An unhealthy lifestyle can ruina person's sex life. Some people engage in unhealthy lifestyles or make expensive choices that impact their lives negatively. Some choices people make, like excessive drinking of alcohol, poor diet, tobacco smoking, weight problems, and physical inactivity, can lead to a miserable sex life.
- Relationship problems
Sometimes sexless relationships happen as a result of unresolved issues between partners. When one or both partners are unhappy with one another, it can lead to no sex in a relationship. Some issues partners may be facing include unending arguments or fights, poor communication, disrespect, loss of sexual attraction, and infidelity.
- Mismatched sexual drives
Mismatched libidos affect both men and women. It can bring frustrations in a relationship. A partner with a higher sex drive may face continuous sexual rejection that may negatively affect their self-esteem. On the other hand, a partner with low sex drive may feel overburdened and pressured to deliver what they are not able to. This problem may cause anxiety, thus reducing sexual desires among partners.
2. How to solve it
- Recognize and find the root cause
The first step to resolving your situation is to determine the reasons for decreased sexual desire. According to Dr. Pamela Connolly, a specialist in clinical psychologist based in the U.S, determining the root cause of low sex drive can be addressed by reorganizing your lifestyle. She says partners can achieve a solution by creating and spending more time together. On the other hand, you should establish if low sex is a major issue in your relationship.
- Communication
Talking to your partner can help streamline issues. Many relationships face different challenges, and you don't have to feel like you're failing. You need to figure out proper ways to communicate with your partner without hurting or blaming them. Dr. Pamela further said that praising your partner for what they have done right can give you a platform to bring up the issue for discussion. She also said that if the problem is with you, you should explain it clearly stating how you feel and ask your partner to help the situation.
- Work as a team
It takes two to be in a relationship. Stressing yourself out to improve things on your own without involving your partner may be a waste of time. Both of you need to sit down and figure out where the problem is and implement ways and plans to improve. But make sure you show affection to your partner and avoid blaming each other. Sometimes letting go of the past can also help you focus on the future. If you had any underlying problems from the past, don't dwell on them because they can hinder your efforts to move forward.
- Adopt measures to build up your intimacy
If having no sex in a relationship is devastating, and you feel a need to improve your sex life, it's essential to adopt the best measures that can better the situation. You should identify fun ways to spend quality time together to create physical and mental intimacy. You can also try including sex on your to-do list to help both of you stay focused and prepare your minds for the same.
Similarly, you can find activities that can keep you close to each other to help build your intimacy. You can go for a vacation, attend yoga classes together, or any activity that can work for both of you.
- Avoid acting passive-aggressively
When you're facing problems in your relationship, the last thing you need is to complicate matters even more. Make sure you express yourself politely and always give your partner a chance to give their views. As much as you may disagree on some issues, you should respect each other's opinions. Don't just sit and watch as your partner tries to get things in order. To improve the situation, it needs equal efforts from both of you.
- Seek professional help
If you've tried patching things up together in vain, seeking the help of a professional can be a good idea. You can contact a sex therapist within your area to give you suggestions on what the problem could be and how to improve the situation. Shannon Chavez, sex therapists' said that sometimes partners face libido challenges that require a therapist to analyze and give possible suggestions as well as ways to improve the relationship.
Conclusion
While some people can be happy in a relationship without sex, there those who face sexless life because of special circumstances. If you're experiencing sex issues in your relationship, it's essential to establish what no sex in a relationship means in your marriage. Think over carefully if you should stay in a sexless relationship or find other ways to solve the problem.