We can deal with a lot of things and put on a brave face, but when the heartbreak and pain come from the closest people and relationships, then our brave facade seems to break. It becomes even harder when someone you love cheats on you. At that time, you are surrounded by a tide of negative emotions and thoughts. This is only natural because your trust is broken and there is no way that your relationship will ever be the same again. Your best choice is to let them go. There is no point in clinging on something you both had. Although it seems like a difficult thing to do, you can only overcome this phase in your life with patience and self-care.
How to Deal With Negative Emotions and Move On?
How to get over someone cheating on you? There is no simple answer to this question because relationships are complex and you go through so many different emotions when your partner cheats on you. It's not easy to forgive and move on. However, there is a way to deal with negative emotions and start a new chapter in life. It's a slow process that involves recognition, acceptance, patience, self-care and growing as a person. In the text below 10 practical tips that will show you how to get over someone who cheated on you are presented.
1. It's not your fault
Many of us start to look at things that went wrong in the relationship. You start blaming yourself for something that isn't your fault. You don't want to walk down this path because it's self-destructive and you will struggle with your self-esteem. What you can do at this stage is to say that it's not your fault because you are not responsible for your partner's actions. Start thinking or writing about positive things you did for your partner. Here is some good advice from Very Well Mind:
"Blaming yourself, your partner, or the third party won't change anything and it's just wasted energy. Try not to play the victim, either, if you can help it, or wallow in self-pity. It will only make you feel more helpless and bad about yourself."
2. Recognize and accept your emotions
It's better to recognize and accept your emotions rather than deny them. The more you deny negative emotions, the longer it takes you to recover. You will be angry, frustrated, disappointed, sad, hopeless and jealous. It's okay for you to feel bad about what happened. Connect with yourself so that you can accept this mixture of feelings. You can vent out by writing, painting, running or talking to a person you can trust. Jeremy Nobel in Harvard Health Blog says that writing allows you to explore your feelings. This self-knowledge provides a strong connection with yourself. "It's that connection that often allows you to move past negative emotions (like guilt and shame) and instead access positive ones (like optimism or empathy), fostering a sense of connection to others in addition to oneself."
3. Don't get consumed by jealousy
When your partner cheats on you, it's hard to get over the jealousy. There are so many things you can't stop thinking about: "Was that other person better than me?" or "Are they more attractive?" There are a lot of things that come to your mind but if you get consumed by this jealousy, you can take dangerous steps. Let it pass before you talk to your ex about what happened and why.
4. Figure out what you want to do
When you get over the initial burst of anger and jealousy, think about what you want to do next. Analyze the nature and state of your relationship. Are you engaged or married? Do you have kids? Think about all the possible scenarios. It's not easy to forgive. So, if you decide to break up, try not to make it messy. Relationship expert Amy Anderson offers some solid advice on this matter. She says that if you can forgive and want to stay, then it works for you. However, she also says: "If you know you will always be suspicious or can't move on from what really happened, you have your answer".
5. Get emotional support from trusted ones
It's important to know how to get over a cheater. You need to have support from someone that is a big part of your life. You can turn to your parents, a close family member or a friend you can trust. Having emotional support from people you trust can help you in getting back to normal life. You are not alone, so don't cut off from other people.
6. Self-care is important
Try to set goals for what you want to do such as exercising, eating better, sleeping better and going out more often. When the initial shock passes, try to take care of yourself. Gradually, you will get over this difficult time in your life.
7. Do what you love
Make time for yourself. Try doing things you love like cooking, reading, going out, traveling, writing, or watching movies. Don't let this bad experience stop you from living your life. You deserve to be happy and satisfied with yourself.
8. Don't dig up the past
How to get over someone cheating on you? Don't dig up the past or stalk your ex on social media. The only person who will get hurt from these actions is you. Move on because you have already gone through so much.
9. Seek professional help
If you can't cope with being cheated on by yourself, get help from a professional. Therapy and counseling will help you cope better. Your mental and emotional health is very important. If you feel that you are not getting better and develop symptoms such as suicidal thoughts, fatigue, ongoing sadness, disruption in eating and sleeping patterns- go to a psychiatrist. With such professional help, your mental health will greatly improve.
10. Focus on self-improvement and growth
We learn a lot from good things in life, but you learn even more from painful experiences. Tell yourself that breaking up is always a better option than going through the same pain again. Read self-help books or do yoga and meditation. Taking small steps will help you feel better and boost your self-esteem. Focusing on self-improvement will help you to grow as a person.
One Step at a Time
When you get cheated on, the blow is huge and the wounds you get from your partner's infidelity take time to heal. Process it slowly and take one step at a time to feel better. It shouldn't be the end for you. Treat it as an experience that will help you grow as a person. Accept your emotions and don't seek revenge because it will only do more damage to you and the people who love you. Take care of yourself and seek help from the people you trust. Only then you can forget the past and move on.