When you are in a relationship, there are many other factors involved than just the love you feel. Being a part of a couple also offers company, friendship, and conversation - the things humans instinctively crave for. In the modern world, being in a relationship allows you to improve your standard of living by sharing income and expenses. If you happen to have children, then your partner becomes your family.
Once you realize that you have to walk away from all of this, the impact can be devastating. It's further complicated if you happen to still be in love with the person you want to leave. Knowing how to leave someone you love facing all of these factors can seem impossible. You can only hope to minimize the amount of pain you feel so that you can move on with your life.
How to Move on After Leaving Someone You Love
Your heart might still be holding on to someone you love, but your mind knows that it's time to move on. Reasons for this can be as simple as you feel you've grown out of the relationship, or it could be because of something as serious as physical abuse.
Whatever your particular circumstances are, learning how to leave someone you love is not easy. The advice below should offer you some help on how to go about this in the most healthy way so that you can both have closure.
1. Do it face to face
Once you've decided that you're ready to break up with your partner, it's only fair that you do it face to face. Your partner may have some things they want to say in response that will help them get over the break-up, and it's fair that you give them the opportunity to do so.
Even though it is much easier for you to have difficult conversations by text or over the phone, unless you don't feel safe or you're afraid that their reaction might be violent, then it's best to find the courage and give them the respect of ending the relationship in person.
2. Accept that you still love each other, but your differences are irreconcilable
Some reasons why relationships end is not because of a betrayal or abuse, but something that can never be reconciled. If your boyfriend wants to have children and you don't, there is no compromise to this kind of conflict.
If neither person wants to be convinced, then no matter how much you might love each other, it won't change these preferences. You can only accept that you don't want the same thing from life and, ultimately, you won't be able to make each other happy.
Ending the relationship immediately is the realistic thing to do. These kinds of break-ups can be hard to accept at first, but the sooner you are able to do it, the sooner you can move on and find the person who wants what you want out of life.
3. Acknowledge that there is a serious problem in your relationship
When relationships become toxic, it can begin slowly. Neither person will know that their interactions and behaviors will eventually make the relationship toxic for one or both of you. Once you have realized the unhealthy dynamic between you has no solution, it's important for you to know how to leave a relationship when you are still in love.
Ending things when the love is gone is straightforward. However, when you are still in love with your partner, then you have to be prepared for the heartbreak that will follow the difficult decision. Reminding yourself of the serious problem in the relationship and why it will never work will keep you strong and focused on moving forward with your life.
4. You deserve better
Leaving someone you love is so much harder when you're scared of never finding a companion again. So many people stay in lifeless relationships because they are afraid of being alone forever afterward. But everyone should know that they deserve to have a chance at real love and to be treated well by the person they are with.
Staying with someone who makes you sad or brings out the worst in you is a mistake. It will prevent you from healing from the pain this experience has caused you and keep you from finding the person who is right for you. Walk away and don't look back. Trust that you have made the right decision.
5. No contact after the breakup
Old habits die hard. Picking up the phone and calling your partner whenever you have a problem is a habit. After calling it quits, you can no longer do this. It will be confusing for both of you, because you are still behaving as if you are together even after you've decided it's better that you're apart.
You might not notice that you are using emergencies as excuses to speak to your ex, but that's what you're doing. It means that part of you is still holding onto the relationship and not allowing it to be over. This will only delay the process of you moving on.
No contact for a considerable amount of time is recommended after a break-up. Allow yourself to gradually stop thinking about him. This includes no contact on their social media accounts. If possible, delete them so that you don't have to see their updates and pictures; they will only serve as reminders of the pain of the lost love.
6. Focus on yourself
Do you want to know how to leave a relationship when you are still in love in the most healthy way? Do it by focusing on yourself instead of on your ex. It's easy to get caught up in worrying about how quickly your ex will find another person or whether he's struggling with the break-up as much as you are. However, this is dangerous ground.
Focusing on the problem will only make it grow in your mind. The healthy way to move forward is to focus on your healing - your ability to come out of the situation stronger and wiser rather than defensive and bitter. Read some self-help books, and see if you can identify the root causes of the problems in your relationship so that you can prevent them from happening again in your next relationship.
Make yourself better and someone who will be able to be part of a happy loving couple.
7. Allow yourself to grieve
We put so much pressure on ourselves these days to be strong. Some people believe that when you internalize negative feelings, it can make you sick. Don't feel that you have to hide the hurt that you are feeling or expect that, because it's over, you should immediately start getting over it.
Healing takes time - especially when you know that you are still in love with your ex. Give yourself a set period of time to grieve for the end of your relationship. During this time you can cry as much as you want. You can reminisce about the wonderful times you shared together, and you can fantasize about all the ways it could have been better.
Whether it's three months or one year, know that after this time has passed, it's a new day. You will no longer allow yourself to feel miserable about your break-up or speak about your ex.
8. Don't try to stay friends
Trying to maintain a friendship when the relationship has failed is not a wise idea. Figuring out how to leave someone you love is hard, but maintaining a friendship with them is just a way of delaying closure for both of you. Allowing yourself to go through the grief of the ending of your relationship is a necessary pain that cannot be avoided or tricked out of occurring.
When you try to be friendly with your ex, you might even be encouraging them to believe that there is a possibility they can convince you to take them back. It's recommended that you make the break-up complete and final. Remember that you made the difficult decision to leave the relationship for a reason.
Summary
Getting over the end of a relationship when you are still in love can be one of the most challenging things you'll have to deal with in your life. Be courageous. Accept that it's going to be a painful process, and you'll feel broken for a few months.
In the meantime, focus on your own healing and hope to come out of the experience a better person. Aim to be happy and whole. Before you know it, you'll be ready to embrace the future and the lasting love you'll have waiting for you there.