Does it seem like your ex wants you back? After weeks or months, are you starting to see signs? More importantly, do you want him back?
He wants you back, but it doesn't mean he actually deserves you back. There are questions you'll need to ask yourself before moving forward. Or maybe you're just curious if that's what he wants.
Whatever the case, here are some tips for you when your ex wants you back. By reading on, you can learn how to decide whether you should accept him or not.
Make sure the reason that caused your breakup has changed.
You may think, "my ex wants me back", but how badly does he really want you? Is he willing to change what broke you up in the first place? Is he expecting you to change instead? You need to communicate with him and determine if you're both on board with how to fix things if you get back together. Your ex needs to know clearly from you that if you do get back together, things will have to change.
Figure out what he has changed about himself for the better.
"My ex wants me back" is no good reason to actually take them back. If you get back together, what is stopping the exact same things from breaking you apart again?
Examine what he's done since you broke up. What changes has he made that would make your relationship stronger if you got back together? Has he professed to you that he wants to try and change?
If he does tell you he wants to change or says he has changed, figure out if that is really the case. Take an unemotional look at what he has been doing as of late - how he communicates with you and anything else that might have torn apart your relationship.
You don't want to just get back on the same merry-go-round of fights or problems that broke you up in the first place.
Don't idealize your past memories. List the good and the bad memories and write down what you really think of them.
We tend to view the past with rose-colored glasses. As tempting as this may be to do, you should try and avoid it at all costs.
If you let your mind trick you into only remembering the good times, you'll forget everything that needs to be fixed. Instead, remind yourself there is a reason you broke up. It's not that you're ignoring the good - just don't let it blind you from the bad.
Writing down all their advantages and disadvantages will help you accomplish this.
Avoid making the decision out of a sense of loneliness or to boost your sense of self-worth.
You may be tempted to rush out and tell your friends "my ex wants me back". However, before diving into the temptation, spend a moment, and examine why you care. Is it that he was the right person and you regret having left your relationship behind, or are you just lonely?
Perhaps, in some way, he was good at boosting your self-worth, and you doubt yourself without him around. If it's loneliness, that's natural enough, but this is still not a good reason to try to seek to get him back. After all, loneliness wasn't enough to keep you from breaking up in the first place. It won't get better.
If it's your feeling of self-worth going down the drain, avoid him at all costs. That is a warning sign for an unhealthy relationship and that he doesn't seem to be any good for your ego. A good partner builds you up, rather than making you feel insecure.
Listen to what your ex-partner has to say.
If you've been apart for a while, you may have a clear idea of what caused you to break up. However, don't be surprised if your ex disagrees. They were coming to their own conclusions without you around.
Keep an open mind, and listen to them so you can understand their point of view as well. Perhaps you're both a bit to blame and need to meet somewhere in the middle to rekindle the relationship.
You need to communicate with him to learn what he wants to tell you. Maybe he has changed, or maybe it's an apology. Ignoring is not the best way to deal with relationships. You have to listen and tell him your opinion and decision.
Ask for other people's opinions.
Sometimes you need a third-person view of your relationship to evaluate it well. You might try asking your family or trusted friends. After all, they not only saw you together, but likely saw what tore you apart.
Real friends will give you an honest opinion. Moreover, you can trust your family to want what is best for you. Besides, they may put forward a lot of useful advice on how to proceed and whether you should run back to or away from your ex.
Determine whether your relationship deserves another try.
In the end, only you can answer the question of whether your ex is worthy of a second chance. You need to balance the good and bad. You also need to be honest about both.
Don't misremember the past as some idyllic time. It clearly wasn't, or you would still be together. On the other hand, maybe you're now finding the good was worth a lot more than the bad, and breaking up was a mistake.
Do You Get Him Back or Move On?
It can feel empowering to say "my ex wants me back." If you're thinking of getting back together, spend some time considering what will happen. Don't take too long; they won't wait forever. At the same time, don't rush in just to find yourself back in a failed relationship.
Think things through, weigh your decision, and follow your heart.