Before we begin, let's clarify what the term 'being played' means. If a guy is playing a girl, it means that he's playing games with the feelings she has for him. He has no interest in winning her heart or being in a committed relationship with her. He might like her enough to hang out and even sleep with, but he's not really into her.
If a guy is playing you, you might not be able to sense it at first. But after a while you'll notice that he doesn't make any effort with you and doesn't quite treat you how you imagined a guy who truly cares about a girl would.
Now, you no longer need to wonder "is he playing me?" Here is a list of twelve signs so you can find the answer.
He Makes Empty Promises
A sure sign that the boy you like is playing you and is not serious about dating you is, if he makes promises, while he has no intention of keeping the words. Does he promise that he'll take you to see your favorite band play when they come into town next weekend, but miraculously he's busy with something super important that day?
No matter how sincere his promises sound, none of them materialize. There'll be lots of little disappointments like this if he's a player.
He Has the Lifestyle of a Player
He's a social butterfly; the life and soul of all the parties and all the girls love him. One of the signs he's playing you is that he doesn't seem to be the kind of person who can really settle down and commit to one girl. He has tons of female "friends" and he defends his friendships with them fiercely.
Do you truly believe one girl will ever be enough for him?
He Never Talks About Your Future Together
Most couples on their first few dates will certainly make some comments about the future things they'll do together. It doesn't have to be anything major, like moving in together, it could just be him hinting that you may still be together in a few years. These conversations will never really happen with a guy that has no intention of being in the picture in a few years. If you mention anything about your future, you'll find that he won't respond or he'll give you a vague, dismissive answer.
This is a sign that he thinks being with you is a game that will be over soon.
He Hasn't Introduced You to His Friends and Family
In a long relationship, he barely speaks about his family and friends with you and it hasn't even occurred to him to introduce you to his friends. If you bring it up, he always has many convincing (or maybe not) excuses why you can't or shouldn't be interested in meeting them anyway.
In the mind of a player, he doesn't want his family to see him with a different girl every month. And when it comes to his friends and who he hangs out with, if they see him with one girl, then that means he's off the market and can't hit on other girls.
He Makes No Effort With His Appearance
When you first met him, he was so hot and well put together. Fast forward a short time later and whenever you're present, he looks like a slob! Not only does he not make any effort with his appearance, he probably doesn't make any effort with the appearance of the environment he stays in. If he doesn't care to tidy up when he knows you're coming over, it's no surprise that you're asking yourself "is he playing me?"
If the guy you're dating doesn't care about what you think, that is a clear indication that he's not into you and is just enjoying whatever benefit he's getting from seeing you.
No PDA
If you go to hug him when you see him on the street, he'll dodge it or back off quickly. You've learned that he doesn't do public displays of affection, at least not with you. But if he's like this, then it might be another tactic not to be seen as your boyfriend and unavailable to other girls.
You're Always the One to Suggest Plans Together
He has never surprised you with something romantic or even suggests doing anything other than staying in. He makes no effort to do anything really.
Mr. Matthew Hussey, a dating expert, says "It's important to know the difference between a guy who's chasing you and a guy who's playing you."
A guy who's chasing you will make an obvious effort to impress you and win your heart. If he's not doing that, then he might not be serious about being with you.
It's All About Him
His friends seem to be his fans. The way he speaks about himself makes it clear that he only thinks about himself. If the guy you are dating seems to only revolve around himself, it's not a good sign. Even if he's not setting out with the intention you play you, the fact that he's a self-centered person would make being in a relationship with him a one-way street. Having a self-centered boyfriend is a bit of a nightmare anyway. Move on swiftly before you fall too deep.
He's a Charmer
This was probably one of the first things you noticed about him and is likely what attracted you to him. He always has the right words to say to make you feel happy at the moment, but they always feel empty later. He charms all the girls and could get away with murder because of his confidence. You now know that his charming ways are not only for you.
Beware of guys who are too charming! They're usually hiding their ulterior motives.
He's Flaky
Sometimes you're in non-stop contact; you're chatting and texting all the time. Other times he ghosts on you. You won't hear from him for days or even weeks. This is one of the major signs he's playing you. It's clear that you are not a priority to him. Not bothering to keep in touch with you is proof that he's only interested in you when it's convenient for him.
He's a Bit Stingy
A guy who is not invested in a relationship will not spend money on the girl as long as he can avoid it. What's the point of him splashing his cash if he's not trying to impress you and win you over with fancy dates and thoughtful gifts? If you've noticed this behavior, then know that you're probably being played.
Use Excuses Not to Spend Time With You
At first, it's possible that he did pursue you, but as soon as he had you, he stopped. Now whenever you want to spend time with him, he always has an excuse. He's probably even stood you up and left you waiting for him all night, only for him to not show up at all. The only time you get to see him these days is when he wants it. If you have answered yes to any of these points and you're still asking yourself "is he playing me?" The answer is a resounding "Yes".
Summary
Although the signs above are pretty generalized, they might be quite an accurate way of understanding why the guy you're dating is treating you the way he is. If you find the guy you like is playing you, then the best thing to do is to cut ties with him. You cannot demand to be loved or cared for by someone who doesn't feel the same way about you. So rather than holding on to something that will only hurt, let him go and allow room for the person who will truly appreciate you to come into your life.