Lady, Wisen up (5 Reasons He Doesn't Want a Relationship With You)

First off, life isn't fair. We all know that. And despite all there is to be done for a guy, the fact remains that if he doesn't want a relationship, there's simply nothing wrong with his decision. This might come across as harsh and untrue, but the earlier you forgive him and forgive yourself as well, the better you'll be able to navigate through this inevitable journey called life. Since we've begun this post sounding out forgiveness, we can comfortably get down to the reasons why the man you are hoping to share yours forever with doesn't want a relationship, even though he said he likes you. What's more, you are convinced that there's a lot of chemistry sizzling between the both of you.

1. He is emotionally unavailable

It is obvious this guy is interested in taking you out for a good time several days a week and doesn't hesitate to shower you with choice gifts but… He is emotionally unavailable.

That is, he doesn't seem to have the capacity to show you affection that comes straight from the heart. Also, he doesn't have any interest in learning about you as a person. Everything he does for you appears mechanical - just to fulfill all righteousness. And deep within you, there's a detachment from him that only your sixth sense can feel. Maybe, he is having a hard time reconciling his idea of a relationship with the reality before him. Or, he is naturally someone who doesn't know how to open up his affectionate side to his love interest. By and large, it might look less of a big deal having a guy do all but dote on you, but that is basically a deal-breaker for any confident woman who yearns for a meaningful relationship. If it was not fundamental to a lasting relationship, you wouldn't have expected it in the first place.

2. He has recently been in a failed relationship

No man in his right senses initiates a relationship to be hurt. It's possible he could have a very bad motive for starting up one, but definitely, not to be burned in the process. As the saying goes, "Sh*t happens." Unfortunately, such a man who has just emerged from a relationship that failed completely might be the last person who would want to commit to a new relationship with a new gal. Although he has duly expressed his attraction to you, the memories of his past are still fresh on his mind and he would probably make a big mess in making a commitment at this stage. Until he effectively works out his baggage, he will not be ready to create something exceptional together with you.

3. You are not his kind of woman

Shocking, isn't it? But shouldn't be taken aback by this revelation when you have your own kind of man too. Let's say your case is different than his because while you are considerate enough to keep away from men who are out of your league, he has shamelessly led you on, only to tell you that he likes you but "doesn't want a relationship right now." The truth is, he kept your company during lonely times until his dream woman saunters into his life. So, for a man to be buying time using unending excuses for not being in an exclusive relationship with you, he has a serious plan that has nothing to do with you.

4. He feels both of you are not compatible

Given the depth of a love relationship, there is a lot a man thinks through before committing to a woman. Although he holds you in high esteem and has also confessed that you mean the world to him, an average guy considers other factors that are important to him in a relationship. These include your individual values, life goals, and social interests, amongst other things. If, after much thinking, he isn't satisfied that both of you can live together in perfect harmony with respect to your individualities, he would be quite reluctant to pursue a relationship with you.

5. He doesn't have the financial means to handle the responsibilities that a relationship brings

Another fatal reason why he doesn't want a relationship - even though he likes you - is that he is not financially buoyant to cater for your material needs. Let's say you aren't the type who waits on a guy to have your needs taken care of. But the way a guy is wired makes him feel that it is in his place to provide for you, even when you don't ask for it. Therefore, he would be better off not letting himself down and stay away from a relationship with you.

How to Handle This Noncommittal Attitude of a Guy to a Relationship

  • Stick to your standards: Before now, you have an established set of standards that define what a relationship is to you. One of them could be having a guy be emotionally available for you. If that isn't forthcoming, you simply have to start reconsidering your time with him, but not your standards because his presence never contributed to the setting of your value system.

  • Take it easy with him: As is expected of you, there's no need pushing him to do anything against his will. If he isn't ready to be your boyfriend yet, it will be counterproductive forcing him to become that. If you can stick around until such a time when he realizes how special you are for an exclusive relationship, do so without bringing it up for discussions with him any time you start tiring from waiting.

  • Worse still, be prepared to be heartbroken: This can only happen if you're too blinded to the truth to exit the relationship on time.

  • Forgive him and walk away: Much emphasis is laid on forgiveness because it is the only way you can forget him easily and be receptive to other fantastic relationships. Though you may have your reasons to fault his actions, it is much better that he lets you know that he isn't ready for a relationship, than to keep you in the limbo for nothing.

Now that we've seen good reasons a guy may want to friend-zone you, even though he likes you a lot, it is important that you follow your heart to do the right thing for yourself. If you feel he will come around and want you for a love relationship, it's better to wait for him from a distance. He knows where to find you when he's ready!

Linda Ojuks
762911 Article 35

Linda is an ordinary writer with an extraordinary passion for creatively written words. When she isn't surfing the internet and reading, she is somewhere alone, thinking of the next thought-provoking article to upload on Facebook for her readers. Follow her Facebook page @linsthoughtsandinspirations.

VIEW MORE