Proper communication is critical to any relationship. Many people today prefer texting over face to face communication. However, unlike a one on one conversation, where you can clearly read the body gestures of your partner, sending messages is a guessing game. The reason being, it's hard to tell how the person on the other side of the screen interprets the message. Now the question is, how, what, and when should you text him? With that said, there are some rules for you to follow, read on...
Rules When Confused by the question, Should I Text Him?
Should I text him? Does this question linger in your head? Plus, are you worried about the funny stories you've heard and read about texting a guy? Or is it that such stories send more butterflies to your stomach? While you're contemplating on whether to hit the send button or discard that message, here are some essential rules to guide you on the Dos and Don'ts of texting him.
Do’s:
1. After a date
If you have already had a date, then you can go ahead and text him. However, some people may think it’s weird for you to text first and would prefer it the other way around. But we’re in the 21st century; there is no need to feel embarrassed to be the first to message if that is what you want.
It can be a good idea to keep it calm and relaxed to avoid sounding too eager. Additionally, you don't want to turn him off just after the first date. So, keep your message as precise and as simple as possible.
2. Don’t want to wait
If you have a pressing issue you want to pass across or maybe remind him of something important, then that is a valid reason to text him. Ensure that you're not the type who sends random texts one after the other without bothering to wait for a response.
Avoid building up excuses to talk to him; you may appear too needy. Remember that random texting without genuine reason can turn him off.
3. You need to vent
Perhaps you’re upset or something has been troubling you of late. Expressing yourself can be a great relief. And maybe you’re asking - Should I message him? Well, venting to this guy will depend on various factors such as the period you've known him, or if you trust him.
So, if you've just known him for a few days and you don't feel that close to him, it’s probably better not to vent. Instead, you can express your situation to a close friend or even your family.
4. You haven’t talked for a few days
If all is okay in the relationship and you haven't talked for a while, there is no harm in checking on him. Perhaps he may be struggling with some issues in his life or even dealing with huge workloads in the office.
Such problems may be overwhelming, and he may forget to check on you, so texting him can be a good idea. Something like, "Hi, hope you had a great day" can go well. But remember that whatever you send, avoid being pushy.
5. Some events in his life
It may be his birthday coming up or a special presentation at his workplace. Texting him during these events to wish him well can be a sign that you care about him. He'll appreciate your efforts as long as he knows he is in your mind.
According to Beverly Palmer, a clinical psychologist at California State University who is also the author, ‘Love Demystified’, regardless of the number of dates you've gone, remembering him sometimes can be a no- brainer.
6. Setting your first date
It is modern times, and there is no problem in initiating the first date. Or perhaps it is your guy who requested the date, but you're the one executing the plan.
Updating him on the progress is just excellent, and it shows that you are dedicated and independent. It can also show him that you are interested in the date.
7. If he texted first
Should I text him back? Certainly yes. If he texted you first, then you have all the reasons to respond. It is an excellent opportunity to pass your message without initializing the move. However, don't feel obliged to respond if you don't want to.
Maybe you don't like him, or you're not interested in the relationship to Remember you are free to decide and should always follow your heart.
Don’ts:
1. If you had an argument
If you argued with your man, it's better to take time to calm down, rather than texting him right away. In most cases, when people are upset, they send messages that they don't mean and end up regretting it later.
Find out why you must text him. And if possible, schedule a face to face meeting so that you can patch things up.
2. He didn’t answer your messages
If you have already sent him several texts that he didn't answer, refrain from sending more messages. Worse still, stop inquiring whether he received the previously sent messages. Sending random texts may make you appear desperate and it may just be that he is too busy to reply to your texts at that time, or he is letting you read between the lines.
3. When you feel too needy
Should I text him? Perhaps you’re tossing a coin on the issue at hand. While it’s fine to text and check on your guy, doing it when you feel too needy can be a bad idea. You may be expecting too much that your guy may not be able to deliver and it makes you sound pushy, which can sometimes be annoying.
4. The messages from your ex
How you ended things with your ex sets the pace for your current communications. If you had the worst breakup on earth, then you should reconsider your decision to text him. Reminding him of the pain won’t make things any better.
But if the ending was not that bad, then clearly define why you need to text him and keep the text precise and specific to avoid boring him.
5. When you know, he’s with friends
We all need a break to be with our friends. So, if you know he is having good times with his friends, refrain from texting him. Avoid engaging him with random texts and give him a relaxing time to catch up with his buddies. Just allow him to enjoy, and he'll get back to you later if he is really into you. Appearing to be too needy may turn him off.
6. When you don’t have something important to say
Should I text him first? Sometimes you may wonder! But if you can't figure out anything better than a "Hi," it’s better not to text him first at all. It is not the way to start a conversation, and it might make him mistrust you. You don’t want to sound clueless. So, it is better to keep your words to yourself.
Bottom Line
Texting your guy can be the start of exciting moments in your relationship or the beginning of the end. Therefore, to be a good texter, you should not only master the art of choosing the correct words but also learn when to send that text. So, overall it is better to make decisions based on your specific current situation.