After a breakup, stalking your ex is something you may resort to without even realizing it. Especially if the breakup was very painful, you're probably curious about your ex's status and how he's handling the breakup. Is he suffering too, or is he living his best life now that you're not in it? These questions keep messing with your head until you spiral into an unhealthy behavior of stalking your former partner. This is something that happens often in the era of social media.
It's not healthy behavior, though, and if you spend too much of your time focusing on what your ex is doing, it can have a bad impact on you. So, how can you stop stalking your ex? This article will give you some tips on how to do that.
What Effect Does Stalking Your Ex Have on You?
Breakups are very painful, especially if you've spent years with the other person and were hoping to marry them some day. So, if you still love your ex, the chances are that you're stalking their social media to see potential signs that they might want to get back together with you, which you're not to blame for.
However, it's important not to overlook the bad effects that stalking your ex will have on your life. One thing that it will do is trap you into a hopeless relationship and make you feel the pain that comes with the reality of the situation. You never know if your ex will come back, so stalking will just give you false hope. It will be extremely painful.
Not to mention that it will keep you from truly moving on. When you're stalking them, you will keep them in your mind all the time and you won't be able to take the necessary steps towards moving on from the past. By stalking, you will just keep getting hurt and will have to restart the healing process again and again. It becomes a very unhealthy vicious cycle.
You might also disappoint yourself if you see your ex possibly making progress or being happy, while you're stuck trying to heal. You'll keep comparing your situations and it might even affect your chances of meeting someone new.
Tips on How to Stop Stalking Your Ex
Stopping yourself from this kind of behavior is crucial, especially if you want to feel happier as time goes by and find someone better. That being said, here are some tips that may help you stop stalking your former partner:
1. Let yourself cry some more
Give yourself more time to grieve the end of the relationship. Grieving is an important step everyone should take after a breakup, as it helps let go of the negative feelings.
Don't be scared to cry as you're looking at old pictures of the two of you. Sure, rejection is painful, but acknowledging the pain and feeling it is much healthier than feeding yourself with delusions. Accept the reality of the situation and mourn. Crying is okay because it's like mourning the death of someone you thought you knew. Accept that the breakup happened and that you'll face a new life from now on, one that your ex is not a part of. By crying, you'll let your grief out and make it easier for you to move on, without feeling the need to stalk their profile and watch every move they make.
2. Realize that it's not helpful
Realizing that it's not helpful might help you stop this type of behavior. One way to do it is by thinking of how bad it will make you feel to stalk your ex and see something hurtful. If you stop, you will save yourself a lot of pain. So, try thinking of this next time you're about to check his account.
3. Block His Page
"I keep stalking my ex on Instagram" – you keep telling yourself this. It's frustrating, and in some cases, it's hard to stop even when you're aware of it. He either comes into your mind and you decide to see how he's doing, or you just see his name popping up and a picture that he posted. He might even have posted a new Instagram story, and the temptation will be hard to resist.
Well, when you think that you just cannot resist, you should block his pages. Blocking someone on Instagram and other social media platforms is not difficult and it will give you some peace of mind.
It's just like parental control – except you're the one inflicting it upon yourself. It will be for the better and you will be able to start focusing on other things.
4. Create boundaries
One of the things that could stop this unhealthy behavior is awareness. Think about why the relationship failed. If you keep stalking your ex, then all it's going to do is bring back the bad memories. Not to mention that you may even end up misunderstanding some things, as you're only getting a glimpse of their life from their social media.
So, try to distract yourself with other things whenever you think you're close to checking his social media accounts. You can also start doing the things and hobbies that you gave up on during the relationship.
Another thing that could help is making a list of things you disliked about your ex. This might remind you that maybe getting back together is not the best thing.
5. Keep yourself busy
Keeping yourself busy is one of the best ways to forget about your ex and enjoy yourself.. It doesn't really matter what you're doing. You can go to the gym and work on your body, go out with your friends, binge some movies on Netflix, or let yourself be absorbed by your hobbies. Whichever it is, it will keep your mind occupied and you will stop thinking about your ex too much.
What's more, by doing these things, you will feel wonderful when you accomplish something. This will be a great self-esteem boost. It will show you that the world doesn't revolve around your ex and that you can achieve so much as a person. It will make you feel amazing about yourself and help you over time.
6. Take a social media break
Do you feel like whatever you do, you still go back to checking your ex's account? Well, when all fails, it's time to take a different route. You should consider taking a break from social media. Not only will it stop you from checking on your ex, but a digital detox will also be good for your health. Also, if you have space and time, you can process the breakup much easier and become happier and stronger while not checking on your ex anymore.
Final Thoughts
Is it normal to stalk your ex? It definitely is, but that doesn't make it healthy. This is why you should do your best to stop. It's important to learn how to stop stalking your ex, especially if you want to move on faster and feel happier. If you use these tips, you will be able to keep yourself busy with other things and stop caring about what your ex is doing.