Anyone badly burned by the hot coals of passion in the past will listen up fast on how to take things slow in a relationship. The number of times notwithstanding, experiencing a fast-paced love affair that ended up in a pile of ashes can inspire you to take it slow this time around. This isn't an easy feat if you've already found someone who likes you and yearns for a relationship with you as much as you want it. But chances are, this one will end the same way the previous ones did if you follow the same principle of jump-starting relationships. So, for the sake of your heart and theirs, it's important that you read these six ways to take it slow in a new relationship.
1. Always Remind Yourself of the Purpose for Slowing Down
The temptation to throw every caution to the wind and follow your sizzling heart is closer to you than the clothes on your back. For that reason, you have to tame it by intentionally calling to memory the reason you are taking it slow in the first place. Perhaps you don't want to mess things up with this person due to hurrying. Or, you may want to rediscover yourself before committing to an exclusive relationship. As long as your reason substantiates your heart's desire for the new relationship, it will be the fuel you need to sail through. On the other hand, the decision to go slow will be much more difficult for you if you have no defined purpose for doing so. And before you come to terms with what's happening, you must first journey back to the old, toxic pattern of your fast-paced relationships.
2. Bare Your Mind to Your Partner
Knowing how to take things slow is one thing; another vital issue to tackle has to do with the person interested in you. If you aren't careful, you might, all of a sudden, withhold yourself from being friendly with them in your bid to go slow. Not only will you end up confusing them with such a ghostly attitude, you may also hurt them, and in the process, lose their friendship. To avoid such a thing from happening, you need to be totally honest with them about your decision and reasoning for taking things slow. Let them hear of your past hurts and your thoughts of potential mistakes that may reoccur if you don't heed to the slowdown warnings. By being honest with them, you show that you respect and value them. And no right-thinking person who wants a meaningful relationship with you will spite you for your decision.
3. Discipline Yourself
For a man, one of the ways they need to take things slow with a girl is by subjecting their body and mind to discipline. That includes being able to take her home on the first three or four dates without staying for coffee, kissing her goodbye on the cheek or lips, or inviting her to your house to "Netflix and chill". Those are avenues for a hasty intimacy. Since she's aware you are taking things slow with her, it's likely she's counting on you to live up to your words. This is possible if you keep your body and mind under control.
4. Occupy Yourself With Activities
This isn't the time to take work leave to enjoy time with this special someone. If there's a better time for staying away from regular contacts with them, working overtime in the office should be what you do. Put simply, involve yourself in activities that will put some distance between you and your new partner so that you will grow apart in the absence of neediness. Even if you are less busy, deliberately avoid everyday availability. By doing so, you won't satisfy your longings to see them as often as you want, but the reward is in the healthy progress of your relationship. Meanwhile, enjoy your own company.
5. Set Boundaries
If you typically are the on-the-first-date kisser, you have to change the rules by delaying it to, perhaps, the fifth date. And if you happily jumped into bed on your second date, you may have to hold on until months later. All in all, there has to be some sort of boundary to set to successfully take things slow with your object of affection. Remember, you should not keep the information regarding your limits to yourself - tell your partner about it also.
6. Schedule Your Dates in Public
This has to do with hanging out with your partner in the open or in the company of your friends. This helps keep your emotions in check and also reveals your partner's personality outside the confines and privacy of a room. Dating in a public place allows some objective observation of the other person, thereby guiding you to the decision to either be committed to them or friend-zone them. You could be the only one observing if it is just you and the person, or your friends if you are on a group date. The biggest mistake you can make in taking a relationship slowly is to always meet up with this person in their house or yours. You not only expose yourself to the wiles of your untamed emotions but also ruin your decision to avoid intimacy which, in turn, blocks your ability to assess this person objectively.
Taking a relationship slow doesn't promise to be a whole lot of fun, but it eventually pays off. You stand to gain a lot in self-improvement and self-discovery, in addition to winning a relationship that was worth the delayed gratification. Ubuntu