Have you ever noticed that you're always the one taking care of the children? Your husband may be busy with work, and you end up being more by yourself than with the one you love. It's something that could happen to any mom, especially when you need to improve the financial situation of the family.
You start feeling like you're single again, and you go around telling your friends, "I feel like a single parent." However, you need to save yourself and your mental health from this unhealthy pattern. Here are some tips to help you survive when you feel single in a marriage.
Take Care of Yourself
Are you feeling like a single parent and you rarely have time to care for yourself and your own needs? Well, no matter what the cause is, you should find some time to take care of yourself. You will see just how much of a confidence boost you'll get by pampering yourself. You will feel like you're on top of the world and the most beautiful woman. For example, if you always go around having a "just woke up" look and you're not attempting to dress nicely, you will feel down. This doesn't help when you already feel so lonely.
Change your lifestyle a little and adjust your schedule so it fits both taking care of your children and yourself. You will notice a lot of improvement. In the end, the way you care for yourself will also affect the way you look after your family.
Understanding
You may not like having your husband away for so long, but you need to be understanding. Your husband is most likely missing you as much as you miss him, even if he's not as vocal as you are. Understand that this is necessary for him and your family, and realize the fact that these times will pass, and you will be in your husband's arms again. Understanding your husband and the situation will make it easier to cope with.
Explain What Your Wants and Needs Are
Communication with your spouse is crucial. Don't expect him to simply guess your feelings. After all, everyone doesn't have the power to read minds. Be direct with him and let him know what's been going on with you while he was away. Tell him what your needs and wants are, and he may be able to help you out.
By doing this, you'll allow him to give you his input. You're a team, so you should solve these problems together.
Schedule More Family Events
Do you feel like you barely spend time together as a family because of your man being gone for so long? Well, one amazing thing to do is organizing family events whenever he's present. This way, you could spend more time together as a family and make up for the time you were apart. Your bonds will strengthen, and you'll end up feeling happier and loved.
Make Preparations
Find out from your husband when he'll be gone again for a while, so you can mentally prepare for this period. If you do this, it will be much easier to handle his absence. Think about things that you can do to occupy your free time when it's only you and your children. For instance, make a schedule so you know when you will take care of the household chores, and when you will play with your kids.
In addition, the children need to be taught that even in their dad's absence, they will have to behave properly, because he is only a call away.
Don't Compare With Other Families
Comparing your family to another can be one of the worst things you could do. You'll only put yourself down more. Even if other women seem much happier and their husbands are more present, you have to remember that it's a different family. The spouses are different, the children are different, and their situation and circumstances are different too.
For instance, just because another family has special dinners every Sunday, it doesn't mean you should have the same event to have a perfect family. While others may feel amazing with such a dinner, you may not feel like making the same effort every Sunday.
So, you have to do what's right for your own family. You don't have to copy other families.
Ignore Judgmental People
There will always be someone having something negative to say, whether it's about your marriage, the way you raise your kids, assumptions about your husband, and so on. The negative thoughts will make things worse for you – like they weren't already bad enough to begin with.
It's easy to stumble upon judgmental people, especially on the Internet. But don't let them affect you. Ignore their negativity and focus on your family. You have to remember that people like this are insecure about themselves. Besides, they're not the ones giving you money for your bills, so they have no right to say anything.
Ask for Counselor's Help
Being a married single mom can be tough and trying to deal with it by yourself might be harder than you think. This is when you should ask for a counselor's help – he could advise you on how to improve your family's life and feel happier. A happy mom will take better care of her children than an unhappy one. Even if you're trying to hide your sadness from your children, they will still notice that something's wrong. So, talk to a counselor and try to get some help this way.
Final Thoughts
If the phrase "I feel like a single parent" is on your mind all the time, you need to take some steps to improve your situation. Being married and feeling like you're single is painful, but you can do something to make it better until your husband comes back. So, follow our tips and you will notice some improvements.