There's a lot on your plate. It could be your career, housework, children underfoot – the list can seem endless. Then there's your partner. Sometimes they're the unintended victim of your busy schedule.
Have you found yourself simply too tired for sex? You're not alone. Everyone gets busy and can feel just too exhausted for intimacy. But it can harm your relationship eventually and is something you may need to work on addressing before it does.
Here are a few tips to improve your sex life and help you make time for that someone special in your life.
1. Reschedule and reduce your stress
Sometimes when we're just too worn out for a fun time in bed, it's not so much about how much we have to do as much as how we're doing it. Being too tired for intimacy could be an indicator you're just too overworked in general.
Sit down and try to reschedule your day so it's not as hectic. Perhaps you can combine tasks to be more efficient. Or you might want to identify things that can be put off to lighten your day. Don't feel like you're being selfish, as it will be better for both you and your partner if you're refreshed.
2. Change your timing for sex
One reason you might have a boyfriend too tired for intimacy is just that the timing isn't right. Are you the kind of person that loves to greet the sunrise with a smile? Well, not everyone is like that. Some people aren't fit for even talking to people until after a few cups of coffee.
So try and find the time when you're both awake but not yet tired from the day to get intimate.
3. Touch your partner
We can't always just get in the mood at the drop of a hat. Now you might just be thinking of foreplay, but that's only the tip of the iceberg. Excitement can be built up over many hours. Try finding reasons to touch your partner throughout the day.
Gentle, loving touches can create a closeness that is a precursor to friskier activities later in the day. More intimate touches can also be a way to tantalize your partner and pique their interest so they're ready to go by the time you're available.
4. Rekindle things outside the bedroom
Stop thinking of the bedroom as the only place for some sexual excitement. If you're always busy, the bed can start to equate to sleep in your mind.
So step out of your normal routine, and try to find fresh places for some exciting adult time. If you play your cards right, you'll never look at the kitchen the same.
5. Develop better sleeping habits
Just because you're getting enough sleep doesn't mean you're getting enough good sleep. Doctors will tell you about the quality of sleep matters. Try and develop good sleeping habits.
Make sure the lighting is minimal, avoid using your phone before bed, try playing ambient noise if you can't fall asleep, and avoid caffeine. You'll be surprised by how much more in the mood you are after a good night's sleep.
6. Stop saying yes to everything to make more time
Don't let yourself become a victim of being too nice. If you're too tired for your partner, you might just be trying to please too many people. Take time to prioritize yourself and your partner, and learn to say no to requests when you're just too busy. You're allowed to do this.
You are not required to make everyone's problems your own – especially if it is hurting your sex life and relationship. Of course, if you're really too tired for sex, say no to your partner.
7. Arrange the personal time for the two of you
Just because you and your partner spend time together doesn't mean it's actually together time. It may be that most of your time is taken up doing other things, and your partner just happens to be physically close.
Set aside time during the day that is solely for you and your partner. It doesn't have to be just sex. Spending intimate time together will help your love life flourish all on its own.
8. Try sharing the chores
Is your wife always too tired for intimacy? Well, you can do something about that. Try sharing her burden. If you come home and watch her do chores until bedtime, don't be surprised if she's not in the mood to have sex. After all, you did watch what made her so tired in the first place.
Instead, try offering to help out with the chores. When you finish early, suggest the two of you treat yourselves to some fun before bed as a reward for a job well done.
9. Get a babysitter
It's almost like children are born with the talent of making sure they're an only child. You're the adult, so don't let them outsmart you. Get a babysitter so you and your partner can have some much needed alone time.
Does this cause you to feel guilty? Well, don't. A good family needs good parents, and parents who are too exhausted to keep their physical intimacy alive aren't doing their children any favors. Remember that it's okay to prioritize yourselves on occasion.
10. Go to a hotel
Do you want to bring back some of that old excitement? Then you may want to consider changing venues entirely.
Plan a spontaneous rendezvous at some hotel, and have an impulsive fling with one another. You'll be amazed by how much fun you'll have in each other's company when you toss out all those responsibilities for a night. It's a perfect way to end a night of dining and dancing.
Don't Let Things Stay as They Are
Burnout is always a risk now and then. With you being pulled in so many directions, it's your own intimacy that can suffer. However, that special time with your partner is a great way for you to recharge.
So try to change things up, and make time for and enjoy each other. If none of these tips help, and you're still finding yourself too tired for sex, suggest seeing a therapist to your partner. Physical intimacy is too important in a relationship to let it vanish.