Sometimes it can be hard to tell if you genuinely love someone or even like them in a relationship. If you are comfortable with someone, staying in a relationship might be easier than moving on. Romantic movies aside, relationships don't always end in disaster; sometimes they just fade until they feel more like a friendship than anything. If you're unsure of your feelings and are asking yourself, "do I like him or am I bored?", then let's look at some practical tips to help you understand what you really feel for him.
Are You Just Comfortable Around Him?
Let's start with how you feel around your guy. Are you comfortable around him? While this is generally a positive thing, it could be that being comfortable is your primary reason for staying with him. The idea of being alone may seem scary and sometimes that makes us stay with someone even when there is no real love because, at least, they are safe.
Many Things Remind You of Him
On the other hand, perhaps things remind you of him all day long. Maybe you see things in store windows and think if he'd like them. Or you start a show and realize you should watch it with him. This is a positive sign you do like him and care deeply for him.
You Have a Strong Desire to Explore His Life
Another sign you like him is a desire to explore his world and learn more about him. Learning about your partner is a natural part of a growing relationship. The more you learn about each other, the more trust you can build.
You Want to Spend More Time With Him
If you can't find enough hours in the day to spend together, liking him clearly isn't a problem. Otherwise, you'd be finding excuses to do things without him.
Are Your Dates Turning Into Hook-Ups?
If you find your dates are turning into more of a hook-up, it may be that you just enjoy physical intimacy together. That might be great for a while, but it clearly isn't progressing into a real relationship as it would if you really liked him. You'll need to ask yourself why this is happening. Maybe he is simply not the one, or maybe you're having some issues with commitment and keeping him at arm's length.
Have You Looked at Dating Apps?
Have you loaded any dating apps on your phone? Maybe you just peruse out of curiosity or to have a safety net ready if something goes wrong? You should ask yourself why you're doing that if you think this relationship has potential. It could be that you aren't being honest with yourself and already have one foot out the door.
Can You Picture a Life Without Him?
If you can't picture a future with him, you should be asking yourself why you're having a present with him. If you're just not ready for commitment, maybe he will fill a space for the time being. But when you're ready for a serious relationship, you'll need to leave him behind first. So, it is better to address things sooner than later.
Are You a Little Nervous or Shy Around Him?
Believe it or not, nervousness and shyness are good things. They mean you still care about his opinion and might also be responding physically to his presence. Both are good if you're planning on staying with him. Sometimes, when your brain gets confused, the best thing to do is listen to your heart. Fortunately, the heart can make itself known in your physical reactions to that someone else. Learning to interpret your own bodily cues can help you understand your unconscious thoughts better.
Write Down Your Feelings
If you've been struggling to decide, "do I like him?", it may be helpful to make a list. Making a list allows you to make a dispassionate analysis of your relationship. List the pros and cons of your guy so you can make an honest evaluation if this relationship is right for you. This logical approach can help separate you from anxieties which might cloud your good judgment. This tried and tested trick will help you see things more clearly.
Do You Just Not Want the Hassle of Having to Meet Someone Else?
Sometimes we can settle because it is better than being alone. Besides, meeting someone new can cause anxiety, require a lot of effort, and leave you with no one for a while. You must ask yourself if that safety is worth a lower quality of life as you may be stuck with the person you don't really want to be with.
Are You Really Happy When Hearing From Him?
If you find yourself groaning when you see a text or call from him, it probably means you don't like him. Or maybe you like him, but he is just boring and you don't like to interact. It is possible, after all, to like a good person while still not enjoying their company. If that's the case, don't beat yourself up. You cannot help your feelings, and if you like him, the best policy is to be honest with yourself for both of your sakes.
Have You Stopped Noticing Red Flags in Your Relationship?
There are always red flags in a relationship. Maybe his eyes lingered too long on a girl or he takes calls at odd times in private. If that no longer concerns you, it could be a sign of apathy. Maybe you don't care if he strays anymore. Maybe you're hoping he will so you'll have an excuse to leave. That being the case, it is far healthier to confront your feelings before things evolve further.
Do You Mention Him Frequently?
If you mention him frequently, he is likely on your mind. That's usually a good thing. It means that you see him as a teammate. However, if you mention him frequently because you're venting whenever you're not around him, that is a bad sign. It could be that you don't like him or your time together, but are avoiding confronting him directly about it.
You Make a Real Effort to Be With Him
"Do I like him?", is sometimes answered more clearly with deeds than with words. Do you find yourself eagerly rearranging your schedule to spend more time with him? Getting to know his friends or learning about his hobbies? If so, you're clearly enjoying him as this is the behavior of someone learning to be closer to their partner. If you've been worrying about whether he is the right guy for you, perhaps it is more a case of cold feet as the relationship gets deeper. If this is the case, you might just need to ask him to slow down. Otherwise, anxiety could destroy a relationship you actually want.
Why Are You Wondering About Your Feelings in the First Place?
Lastly, wondering if you like him or not is a bad sign. There are very good odds that you've fallen out of love or don't like him anymore if you're asking these questions. Still, you should reflect to make sure you're not just getting nervous as the relationship is growing. You don't want your fear of commitment to sabotage a perfect relationship.
Self-Reflection Is the Best Thing You Can Do
If you found yourself musing, "I don't know if I like him", it's not a good sign. But it's not the end of a relationship either. Sometimes moving from the mad love of a new relationship to the cooler, more mature love of an established one can feel confusing. A lack of wild passion doesn't necessarily mean you've lost feelings for your guy. However, it is possible you simply respect and admire him but no longer wish to be in a relationship. Only you can determine this, although this list should help you get started in your self-evaluation.