Relationships are not smooth roads. Sometimes, you will find yourself in situations where you are not happy, and other times the relationship seems not to work, and you do not know what to do. If you are in a relationship that is full of issues and it does not seem to work, this article will discuss how to know when to end a relationship.
If you see any of the signs as below, it is time to end your relationship.
1. Illusions diminish
When a relationship starts, you tend to uphold those early moments of joy dearly and overlook their weakness. As the relationship grows, you get to know each other better and deeper. Then the illusions start to diminish - what you saw as good, perfect and desirable, you now start seeing the negative side of it. For instance, a partner who is focused and ambitious to achieve his/ her goal will be seen as self-centered - prioritizing the goals over the relationship. A partner who overwhelms you with expensive gifts and vacations, over time, will appear as a spendthrift, not a caring person as earlier seen. These qualities can end your relationship if you focus on expectations.
2. Escalating misunderstanding and misassumptions
Misunderstanding and misassumptions are some of the reasons why relationships end. People in growing relationships believe they are entitled to making assumptions that lead to misunderstanding. This is because their communication skills are slowly diminishing as a result of short phrases and jumping to conclusions. With time, the couple loses interest in each other as the level of misunderstanding and misassumptions increases and they are not trying to do anything about it.
3. You do not like yourself in the relationship
The best way to know when to end a relationship is when you do not like the person you are in that relationship. People have different personalities when they are around other people. Sometimes, lovers influence each other's personalities. For instance, at a social gathering, you are the people's person, and when you are around your partner, you portray characters that complement your partner. If those personalities don't sound like you, then you are in the wrong relationship.
4. You are not happy
The question of "should I end my relationship when I'm not happy" does matter since everyone deserves to be happy. In case you are in a toxic relationship or any other relationship you are not happy about, it is time to pack your bags. You will find happiness somewhere else.
5. You make excuses for your partner
Do you occasionally make an excuse for your partner when he/she refuses to attend a family dinner, party, social gathering, or a movie date with your friends? If the answer is yes, you should think clearly about ending the relationship. Making excuses why he or she behaves in a certain way is not really acceptable behavior in a relationship. If you always make excuses for him or her, then that's a sign your partner values you less and you do not need to be in that relationship.
6. Not being open to your partner
Some secrets must be shared, and some are not. Most new lovers are afraid to share their innermost secrets at the beginning of the relationship since they are afraid of the relationship will end before it began. What they do not know is late confessions can ruin and even break that same relationship they were protecting earlier due to broken trust.
Good Ways to End a Relationship
When to end a relationship and how to end it is two different things. It is better for you to end your relationship maturely and respectfully with no hatred. So here are some of the ways to consider:
Have the dreaded conversation
Maybe this is the conversation that you are not willing to have with someone with whom you have spent a substantial amount of time. It causes fear and makes you uncomfortable. Having the dreaded conversation is a respectful way to end a relationship and shows the courage to walk away.
Be honest
Be honest with yourself, and your explanation to your partner. Set the record straight why you have to break up. When your partner asks for in-depth and clear explanations, don't shy away from giving honest answers. Stop using the normal cliché of "It's not you; it's me"- which often is just a handy, polite, lie.
Don't just disappear
Some people think that disappearing with no explanation is the only way to end the relationship without emotional pain. You may feel you owe nobody an explanation as to why you ended the relationship. The truth is your partner needs closure as to why things are not working out and the opportunity to argue the case for the chance to be together. If problems can't be solved, it is better to give an explanation and end the relationship.
Accept a share of the blame, but not all
A relationship consists of two people, and each of them can contribute to a breakup. Don't assign all the blame to the other person, but do accept a share of the blame. Use statements that consist of "I" instead of the usual "You" when having a breakup conversation. Some people would want to know the reasons why you broke up with them and others would want specific details to find closure.
Protect your, and your partner's dignity
You do not want to cause a scene when you are breaking up with your partner. It is crucial to protect your dignity and that of your partner, to avoid social rumors that may result in embarrassment.
Establish boundaries
It is critical during the end of the relationship to set boundaries. Make it clear during the break-up how many contacts you would wish to have. Don't use physical contact to avoid an emotional setback.
The Final Word
It is not that easy to know when to end a relationship if warning signs are not seen. Some people don't know the best way to end the relationship, but when they do, they move on in search of happiness. However, be decisive when breaking up with someone, and take the time to move on from it.